stellan up date

9:40 am update
Not knowing how I'm feeling makes it pretty impossible to explain how I'm feeling. Instead, I'll just give the medical details on what's going on with Stellan right now.The doctors here at Children's Hospital have been trying, so far unsuccessfully, to get Stellan's heart out of SVT (Supra Ventricular Tachycardia=very high heart rate). About every two hours they are trying Adenosine by shooting it into Stellan's iv. That drug stops his heart momentarily with the hopes that, once it restarts, it will be beating regularly. Sometimes, after his Adenosine, his heart rate does come down to the 160s, but it always flips back up again nearly instantly. His heart rate is at about 250-260 beats per minute this morning. In between those, Stellan has been getting different drugs as a drip in his iv, usually over the course of one hour. The latest they tried was a drug called Amioterone. Stellan is on his second round of that with no success. There are some beta blockers that could probably help, but until now, Dr. B (Incidentally, the same pediatric cardiologist who saw us when Stellan was sick inside of me last summer) has wanted to hold off, because it can be dangerous to give those to a baby who is already having respiratory distress.The latest is that Dr. B doesn't feel like he has any other choice, so he started Stellan on Esmolol, a beta blocker. We are hopeful this will help. They also sedated Stellan because he was really restless and crazed which were not conducive states to his heart being calmed down. He is still NPO (not being allowed to eat) but is sucking on his pacifier dipped in glucose water and is now resting very comfortably.I am trying not to let this dizziness grip me, as I am tempted to feel like things are spiraling out of control so quickly. This has been a huge shock for us, unexpected to say the least. But God is in control of this, so I am just going to let Him have this. It's all I can do.For now, we are going ahead with the plan we are on, but Dr. B tells me that Stellan's body can only take this SVT for so long. His chest xray today shows an enlarged heart. His blood pressure is still doing okay, but if this doesn't turn around "soon" (I am not sure what that time frame means to him), he is going to want to put Stellan on a ventilator to force his body to calm down and stop fighting, thus flipping himself back up into tachycardia when the drugs bring him down.That's it for now. Thanks for caring about us.