{ You've Got Mail }

playing catch-up in a nutshell

Can you even believe that I'm posting? I’m in shock to be honest that I made the time but I did. How long has it been? Can we say a year , no actually it has been just a couple of month’s but the month’s stretched out into a new year so we can say that I have not blogged since last year, that would be accurate J. But with good cause, I have been dealing with Life to be honest! Hard issues that have been circling around and just really no time to sit and Blog {sorry}
I feel like it has been Forever but I did not forget any of you { I did read your blogs } and I kept in touch with many through Face book. Sigh …….

Yes, me, who was not fond over face book has grown to love it, for one I can talk with many of you and my sister all at once and while I was in and out of the hospital at visiting hours I was able to keep in communication with many of you who kept me company and prayed for our family. It was nice not to have to repeat the status over and over, I was able to say it once . What a sigh of relief that was …wink



I did not intentionally stop blogging , I just did not know how to get my thoughts across with out crying and needed this time alone with my family and the LORD whom I have grown closer too; let me tell you he listens and answers your questions in one way or another and has messengers deliver a reply , it is almost like e-mail {go with me here a second } if you are like me and you read the bible or have these strong issues on your mind and talk out loud to the lord and just sit and wait for a reply , hmm ok I will wait for the reply like in a e-mail , like that cool message I get when I click on the computer saying “ You’ve got mail” ,and you click on it for your replies and boy when you do receive the answers all you can do is sit and cry.
**{ note to self Lord related I do not cry every time I read a response in my mail *} OK needed to clear that up , let’s continue .


Thank you Mighty God for listening to my request’s ….

Well I have been dealing with that lately. my talks have gotten so deep and then I go to our weekly service were the worship music that just moves you in a powerful way and then “Bam“, the pastor just grab’s you with the message like “Hello, are you for real” and talks and looks right at you like I’m the messenger for the Lord and I’m delivering your answers ,
{ you’ve Got mail }. The message just pulls you in and you sit and just tear up in disbelief . That is what I was heavy on my heart .

Anyway, do you think that I would lose my Faith in this Drama if I did not get answers right away? Nope, if anything it is stronger, more powerful and more meaningful. How do you describe it?

{Example}

Well like a huge fight with a love one and the makeup is so rewarding and then you focus on keeping that relationship even stronger.


So, you ask what has been going on.? Well my father has been really ill.

Well my father has Alzheimer’s and the starts of dementia and as a result he has been taking all the medicines for these issues .The issue that we where experiencing was with the side effects of the medicine.

Medicine is suppose to help make things better, erase what is wrong or try to make you feel better at ease, well theses medication’s he was given had greater side effects than the sickness itself , The side effects were doing a number on my father and he was hallucinating and having many episodes more then before , which in result he was forgetting who all of us were -

*****Being that he was taking the medicine for several month’s was a result in this episode of event’s that occurred.

[By definition hal·lu·ci·nate to imagine seeing, hearing, or otherwise sensing people, things, or events that are not present or actually occurring at the time]

This was what we were experiencing , very hard to go though, especially if it ’s your parent .
Well let me tell you that he was in the era of the 1950’s , cool era just not if we are in the 2009-2010.

{THE DAY THAT CHANGED IT ALL}

my mom called and said she has been calling the house for a while and there has been no answer to please go and check on my father .

nevertheless , In his sleep, he had a minor stroke and I found him on the floor , no need for the in depth detail’s , nothing is harder than that ,
see why I could not blog , I needed strength to get through this. Thank God I WAS NOT ALONE I would have freaked for sure, I was with my Husband. After finding my father in the condition we did , we moved him safely back to his bed and I called my mother and explained what had happened and how I found my father and she rushed home and we called the ambulance right away , he was in the hospital for 3 to 4 weeks in and out of it, we all were strangers it was such a hard and difficult time to experience this behavior. He was not to nice to the hospital aids if you can imagine , we did not recognize this new behavior and all we could do is apologize, and express remorse
to the nurses. As it turns out all the blood work came out “ok” with only a minor stoke to the brain , however the medicine that (the hospital) was giving my dad for all the systems above , memory , dementia and now the hallucinations triggered the hallucinations even worse, then, finally when the third Doctor came in { three is a charm isn’t that what they say }, he stopped all medicines , being that the systems seemed worse with the medicine the Doctor wanted to try without any medicine to see if he dioxide him from it all what would happen.


At this point my father lost all movements from the lower part of his body , meaning no walking , {dead legs ,was there terminology } a result from the stroke , and lost about 30 more pounds , they agreed he needed physical therapy, the lesser weight was not helping his balance , after 2 weeks of being off the medicine’s he was slowly coming back to his old self, eating and gaining weight again ….

Sign of relief


My Dad was back and Alive , he was talking and he knew us 2 day’s before Christmas, that was a miracle in it‘s self , a unanswered prayer from the Lord above. they were releasing him to a nursing day care where he was going to stay until Christmas eve and do intense pt training , well the hospital at the last second when they did not get the Clarence from the ins being that it was after 5 pm , they decided by themselves to take him to another hospice home with out my mother authorizing this switch , leaving her with no choice being that the hospital needed the bed , they explained if she was not happy she could sign him out .

This Hospice was so bad that you would not leave your worst enemy in.
My Mother signed him out alright and took him home ASAP.

Great God decision there , it was a gut feeling , she could not leave him in that place not even for one night , 2 week’s later after being home in familiar surrounding’s he has come back full force walking talking and better than before , he has the memory loss but it’s 100 % better then he started off with , so we are here taking care of him. He is never alone and we hired additional help to come in and do his pt training in house and we have my nanny here 2 Day’s a week to help me out with the girls cooking laundry and my father; it gives me a break to do my photography and to relax a bit and now, woo hoooo, blog again .


God works like this ,unpredictable. We may not like or agree but he as our Father figure has it all planned and figured out in the end, we think of it as a roller coaster that lost control and all we want to do is stop and get off nevertheless he makes it keep going, there is a lesson being taught and as a parent you Never stop teaching for one second.

Take every day as if it was your last , live for Him up above and make worthily Godly decisions that at the end of the day you can say Today was on a scale from 1-10 a 10


I have been dealing with this taking care of my father watching every thing and dealing with the pt trainers and help coming to the house in addition to be a Godly wife and a mother figure to my children as well as being focused and doing my photography which has been a blessing for me . So for myself and my supportive family we have been dealing with all the above as best as we can. One day at a time… We have our good day’s and we have our not so good day‘s. you just never know what the day will bring.

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

That is it in a nutshell, meaningful words that explain every thing having to do and cope with our situation .

When it rains it pours right? Well then all I can say is that If the pain of the situation brings me / my family closer to God then Jesus Bring the Rain .

This is my daily prayer.
The good still outweighs the bad Especially with Faith involved …



So I have been busy with many new changes , a happier post will be approaching, as a matter of a fact I’m thinking about writing it now , But I wanted to Break the Ice and answer all the questions about where I have been (sorry so long ) and to say I’M BACK and so Blessed to still have readers around . my photography is growing and we are at peace with life at this time. Christmas rolled around and we had a great time relaxing and unwinding with all my Family here.